For the last two years, especially with the pandemic and lockdowns, I've had to be the sole caregiver of my parents, especially with all my sisters being in different countries.
I find this role, to be extremely taxing - to be a caregiver, when I myself, have a truckload of health issues that I need to attend to. My health seems to have deteriorated further due to the stress of being responsible for pretty much everything in the household. I find myself wanting to prioritise my needs but it is SO hard. and it makes me so angry when my parents don't even try to cooperate or help.
Early October, I displayed symptoms that seem to suggest a TIA - disorientation, weakness in my left arm and leg and a stabbing migraine at my head. and ever since then, I've noticed that my left hand is weaker than before and I get out of breath quite easily.
I'm just so exhausted and drained. and whenever I ask for help from my sisters, I still end up doing most of the problem-solving. and it pisses me off. what's the point.
sigh, i really just needed to get this out of my system because I feel my anxiety, depression and rage is getting to me and it feels really overwhelming. I'm struggling to function.
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