Ironically, I write this with eyes feeling like they are being stabbed over and over again. But after taking a much needed nap, I do feel a bit better.
It's rather odd... I know I have been trying to make use of myself the past two years since my surgeries - I've given talks, done some disaster relief work... and yet, I know that I still feel inadequate. Clearly, my expectations of myself are quite ridiculous. Something I still have difficulty adjusting with.
But the interesting thing I've realized is.. since I decided to conduct a talk on supporting family/friends with chronic illness, it feels like I have more purpose in my life. It feels like the right thing to do. I've been struggling so long with my illness, it makes sense to share with others in hopes that I can speak up for others who may not have the words to explain how they want to be supported. Maybe it's the therapist part of me who is yearning to emerge again. I'm not sure. But I know preparing for this workshop hasn't been easy. Just having to concentrate for hours at a time gives me migraines. but I pray that the Lord will use me in this way to reach out to others.
